Almost a Love Story: Fangirling Since 2013.

I am supposed not to write anything about you. At least, I stopped. But today, I heard a classic and cheesy love song that reminded me of you, and suddenly, I couldn't help myself but become emotional. 

Together but Never Dated

2021. I was waiting patiently at our agreed time while hesitant if you'd show up. I was trying hard to convince myself that it was just you, and not the guy who invited me for a particular event nor the man whom I kissed in the middle of the crowd.  Well, I could still remember how you managed to bring me home no matter how drunk I was or how embarrassed you were.  

"Ayaw palabi, Gel, ha," I heard you whispered to me before I took a sip from each glass.. - 2017"

But I lied to myself. You were that same person - who blushed with that kiss, and who calmly took me home even I knew you were pissed. That same person whom I looked up to until these days.

The "what if's" in 2013...

Contemplating what we have now and the ones in the past, I dug more dates that I thought could be significant in our meeting. It led me to the year 2013. It was at that time when we were vying for a title. Needless to say, you won! I was still a newbie blogger compared to you but I was already your fan!

"Still my favorite capture from you - Solaire Hotel, Manila"

Unfortunately, I didn't have the chance to see you. I didn't show up. But what if I was there during the awarding, would you ever notice me? If only I showed up, had we become friends back then? Could you even remember me if I were to introduce myself to you at that moment?

Anyway, it took several years when I finally saw you in person. With all confidence I could muster, I signed up for a blogging event because you were there. Then, I braved the big waves from Olango Island and crossed the trench to see you. You couldn't imagine how contented I was to have met you. That year was 2016.

A New Beginning and the Coloring Book

When I resigned from my previous job, you sent me a message if I'd give the company you were working at a try. Although I was doubtful, I sent my resume anyway, and I was lucky enough to be accepted. We became colleagues for months! 

"This holds so much inspiration until now. Thank you!"

Until these days, I still keep the coloring book you gave me on my first day of work. So much had happened since then that made me realized how happy I was whenever you were around.

"I felt awkward really...But thanks to this photo."

Despite the fact that we were colleagues, you never set your eyes on me. I felt that no matter how I wanted to talk to you more, you were beyond reach. You were that star that I continued to look up to. In a karaoke place with our workmates, I knew that the songs you were singing weren't intended for me. However, I remained your loyal fan. 

Destiny and Love

2016. Once you asked me about love while driving me home (we were at the middle of the bridge). You also asked if I believe in destiny during an event (to think it was your first invitation). Those questions confused me, and created a tremendous dilemma. Where were you leading me at those times? The fan girl in me wanted to believe a love story but I decided to suppress it because I couldn't be assuming. 

"This was another capture from you when we were in Malapascua with Ian, Sir Gian, and Ate Sheila. I could remember this time when you told me if I was sure if I'd jump down the cliff. Well, I listened to you. I didn't jump."

2021. It was that same scenario on the bridge while we were on our way to a charity work. I smiled at the recollection of that evening in 2016. It dawned in me how you told me to hold you tight because you were afraid I might fall or go to sleep (I was drunk). 

The sea breeze lightened my mood that Sunday morning. Although I was not holding you tight anymore, I enjoyed our trivial conversation. We never had this talk whenever I was with you before. But now, I am free to express myself. 

Social Development Work

Never would I imagine myself that I have the chance to be with you - up-close and personal and enjoying the weekend ride. I am still very hesitant to ask you for a favor even though you told me that you are willing to help me. Know that I appreciated that gesture because undeniably, I need someone to aid me with my projects. 

"This was our last meeting before I left for General Santos City in 2019. Thanks for this photo again."

For now, I hope that you will continue helping me out and the communities I am serving. This goes the same with the hope that you will love what we are doing - serving the children and their families. As for me, know that I am your loyal and avid fan - ALWAYS since 2013. 

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