A random stranger invited me one night for an evening chill in a certain music lounge. Well, hitting 30's changed my perspective of hanging out. These days, I am no longer a party-goer who prefers staying in a crowded and noisy place but rather, the silence of the night while doing yoga before going to sleep is the best nocturnal activity for me. But why that night?
"Batanes - First Quarter of 2019"
There were plenty of reasons why I went out with him despite the impending mock test I'd be taking the following day. One word to sum up those reasons though is loneliness. Honestly, there were uncertainties in my life that I had been facing the past days that triggered my emotions. But I know I was deeply lonely.
"Iligan - Second Quarter of 2020"
The guy was four years younger than me.
He was successful. As I presumably knew.
As the reggae music hit my eardrums, I was transported in time when the only thing I could think of was my wanderlust life. A 10-year rewind of my life while I was enjoying my youth backpacking some countries in the Southeast Asia and jaunting from the north to south of the Philippines. I was a free spirit. Fluid.
"Bohol - Third Quarter of 2020"
Then he asked me this one question: "What was that thing you regretted in your life?"
I hesitated and decided to give the most cliche answer any girl would say.
"I regret of not marrying the man I love the most."
And I knew I lied.
"Sarangai - Fourth Quarter of 2020"
The lounge's lights were dim. The flickers of red, orange and blue lights were strong enough as to cover our emotions and ingenuity. I didn't look at him straight in the eyes. Maybe the taste of alcohol also played a role in our own drama that evening.
I knew he smiled at me then said, "I regret listening to everybody's advice."
Like a timed-bomb, his answer exploded in my brain.
It blasted me and torn me into pieces. I supposed to answer that way but then he did me a great favor.
"I regret listening to everybody's advice."
Well, this is where my 2020 should start.
Regaining myself.
Fortifying myself.
Influencing myself - to do what is right; to do what is good.
The best person who knows myself is no other than my "self". And again another cliche. However, it is this cliche which I ought to inculcate in me but randomly slapped at me by a random stranger.
I admired the stranger's answer.
He must have seen that loneliness illuminated through my eyes or he must have felt that loneliness reflected in my heart. Finally, was he also feeling lonely that evening which made him asked that question or it might have been the influence of alcohol?
Well, not keeping this blog long, I was thankful of the random talk with that stranger. I hope that I'd be able to strengthen myself and listen to what I really desire the most.
Eventually, I will do what makes me happy!
"Always do what makes you happy!"
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